The Discrimination towards Men-hood

I have seen so many people talking about how difficult it is for a girl to survive in a male dominating society. Well it’s true to a greater extent. But that doesn’t mean that girls take the feminism flag every time and abuse guys. They have a difficult life too. Discrimination against men is a problem that rarely goes noticed.

There are many stereotypes about men and women that are heard every day. The most common, however, is how men are considered jerks. That is one of the most popular ideas in our society today. Women have come to accept this idea as an excuse or answer to their problems with the opposite sex. How do they get this idea? It is unknowingly slipped into women’s subconscious by a variety of forces. One of the strongest forces, however, is the media. The complaints about men, the idea that: men are jerks; have become so integrated into our unconscious that even advertisers have caught on.”

Another factor which is a part of male sexism is the pressure that men feel to be successful. Men have come to see it as their obligation to have a good education, get a high-paying job, get married and have kids, and be the sole-bread winner of the family. Men are literally not worth as much without money. It is normal in our society for a woman to marry a successful man and not work, but it is definitely seen as strange or wimp, when a man marries a successful woman and does not work and often called “Ghar Damad” or “Joru ka Ghulam”. He is accused of marrying her for her money, whereas she is not accused of anything.

Being a successful male has become the society’s standard. Without having a successful career, or at least a high education, men are seen as disappointments. They have no use. How successful or how highly educated a man is not a basis to see how valuable he is to our society. If men are unemployed, they’re a goner. If women are unemployed, they can still be married off or get married. Men who fail in finding a high paying career face a much greater stigma than what women do.

Men are almost universally treated more harshly by the criminal justice system. This is at all levels. Using hypothetical models, researchers have discovered that, when all other factors are equal (identical evidence, identical prosecutors, defense attorneys, and judges) and the only difference between criminal defendants are that one is male and one is female, the man will be convicted nearly four times as often as the woman.

Far more men die on the job than women. This not only includes the dirty, hazardous jobs that, despite usually being really high-paying, women want no part of and never seem to protest about when employment quotas are being called for, it also includes the cushy, air-conditioned office jobs. For whatever reason, women are largely protected from workplace fatalities, while men are not.

In war and armed conflict it’s common for 80% or even 90% of the casualties to be men. Nevertheless media-reports tend to focus on the “women and children” demographics, but why dead men are less of a concern is seldom discussed. Many of the dead men are soldiers, so you could argue they’re “guilty”, but this ignores the fact that the men often have zero or very little choice in the matter.

And here are some more situations, where men are discriminated.

  1. If you happen to live in Pakistan, you’d always find that men are often insulted if they occupy seats reserved for women in bus despite being unoccupied.
  2. There’s this perception that Parlors and SPA exist only for women. Any guy found visiting them has to face insults and criticism from others. Men like grooming. They care about looks too.
  3. We assume that men are more capable than women to fend off threats. Even, when they are unarmed, and the threat is armed. And we expect them to be able to do so or at least be willing to put themselves in harm’s way because they are men.
  4. Should some object go wrong in the house, I, as a man, am naturally expected to investigate and set things right, because men are thought to be universal mechanics.
  5. Men would always be expected to keep doors open for women, and treat them like gentle princesses. And let the woman out first, as always, women are offered express lane.
  6. When a man does something people see as feminine, he’s usually frowned upon or even mocked.
  7. Parental custody rights when getting a divorce. If the father and mother are in the same financial and emotional position, most of the time the mother gets the custody.
  8. Men are pressured into studying “high paying/high return” majors such as engineering, finance, CS etc. because they are expected to support a family and earn more than the woman
  9. In Pakistan, there is a strict dress code for men, doing any kind of white collar job, i.e. Bank officer or accountant in a company. But surprisingly this dress code is waived when women comes under that situation; they are allowed to wear comfortable Shalwar Kameez, Jeans, or whatever they like, they are free to choose.

The list is very long, and it goes on and on, I can easily write a novella type book on this topic.

With all the pressures that men have today, it is clear to see that they may not know what it means to be a man in our society. Our society has produced many confusing expectations of what men should do to be “real men.” A man must be a good provider to his family, he must be a good father, and he must be sensitive and gentle. Other characteristics include being cool, collected, and controlled. Men must be the providers in our society, however in order to be accepted by the women, they not only have to be successful, they have to be good looking. Men have learned that in order to succeed in relationships, they must succeed in their occupation. They learn from high school that: Good-looking boy does not equal good-looking girl. Women possess superior qualities and power if they are attractive. If men want to reach that level, they must be both attractive and successful. Society has made requirements for both men and women, and the men are struggling to cope with these pressures.

Conclusion

Discrimination is a problem that must be solved. If men and women are fighting to be equals, they must realize that they both have problems. Men and women both experience unfair treatment, and the only way to stop it, is for both sexes to take time to see how and why the discrimination happens. The attention surrounding sexism directed towards females has become so prominent that it has left the male movement trailing behind, unnoticed.

Equality of the sexes will begin with equal attention on both movements. The society must realize that focusing on discrimination of women is only creating discrimination against men. The more attention women receive, the more power they receive over men, which leaves men powerless.